Beep, Beep, Beep...
“Ugh, is it morning already?” I mumble incoherently as I roll to hit the alarm.
BAM!!
My head collides with the desk as my body hits the floor. Dazed, I struggle up and turn off the alarm. I hate when that happens, I think as I fumble into the bathroom. Gazing at myself in the mirror, I see a nice purple bruise forming already. Great, just what I need. I get dressed without any major mishaps and head down the stairs. Actually, after tripping at the top, it’s more of a frenzied dance as I attempt to regain my lost balance. My heart racing a mile a minute, I finally reached the bottom. Today just isn’t my day! ran through my head as I sat down to eat. Choosing to take the safe route and eat cereal, I ended breakfast without mishap. I even made it back upstairs alright. My luck held as I finished getting ready for the day and headed to school.
But it was too good to last. As I headed to my locker I tripped on a very hard piece of air. Backpack and laptop went flying and my purse felt it fit to smack me in the back of the head. I soon found myself getting very friendly with the carpet. Now I had a new bump on the back of my head and a nice rug burn on my face and hands. Standing up quickly, I scanned the area for any witnesses. Finding none, I pick up my far flung belongings and turned to my locker.
Bang, crash, smack, thud, OUCH!
My books came crashing down on me when I pulled my locker door open. I found my face full of Biology and Norton Anthology. As you know, these tomes of immense knowledge are also immense in size. I now had a purpling eye and bumped nose to add to my list of injuries. I finally managed to get all my books set and then walk to my first class without any visits to the carpet. After dropping my backpack on my toe, I hopped around for a while before tripping over a chair and falling on my butt. To my horror, laughter filled my ears. There had been witnesses! I seriously considered killing them to keep it quiet, but soon put that idea to rest. They had only seen one minor part of what was turning into a day of intense clumsiness.
The day continued along the same lines. Each class had at least one mishap and soon everyone knew of my story. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me today! Then came lunch. I was scared out of my mind at the idea of all the damage I could cause in the lunch room. I navigated the line alright, and was walking to my table when disaster struck. I tripped on another bit of air. The tray of food flew out of my hands. Pasta splattered the wall and my cookie smacked a bystander in the face. My drink outdid itself, flying in a graceful arc before coming to rest on a teacher’s head. For the second time that day I admired the details of the carpet. It took a while, but the mess was cleaned up, and everyone went back to eating. Geez, can this day get any worse? I thought.
Now you may know this, but as soon as you utter those words, they will come true. I swear the air was out to get me as another piece caused me to somersault down the hall after lunch. Coming to a rest flat on my back, I looked up at the ceiling and thought about this day. I had nearly killed myself on several occasions. Why is this happening? What did I do wrong? I couldn’t think of anything that could have caused this! As I sat up, it suddenly hit me. How could I have been so stupid! That bump on the head must have dazed me for a while, and all these accidents were caused by those few dazed moments. The locker was just coincidence. For, as I sat there in the hallway after my latest blunder, I realized that the only thing wrong was a pair of shoes, put on the wrong feet.